Coffee as a Crutch

I keep finding myself without time to have coffee in the morning and it consistently causes that day to be very bad.

To coincide with the idea that for Lent, I want to take time to do yoga and meditate, I started to make sure I had at least 10 minutes in the morning to simply sit down and enjoy my cup of coffee. For a while, it was working incredibly. Those 10 minutes let me gather myself and let me relax while also allowing me to get the caffeine boost in the morning that I needed.

Suddenly, my schedule didn’t allow for me to drink any coffee and I lost those 10 minutes of me time.

That was incredibly devastating.

That also makes me pretty embarrassed. I’m upset I let myself rely on something so much that it now has the power to determine how the next 12+ hours of my day is going to go, That’s an addiction and that’s not okay.

Don’t get me wrong though.

I think that wanting and getting me time is very important. Without that type of self care, people don’t do well. As I type that out, I don’t really know if I have a source for that which is funny… but at the end of the day, the person who knows what you need best is you. Life is meant to be enjoyed.

I love my job but I don’t think I could perform well at it if I didn’t get to have fun on my off time and if I didn’t get to destress every once in awhile.

So now it’s tricky… how can I continue to do things like drink coffee and take time to myself while still retaining a sense of flexibility that even without it, I am going to be okay.

Right now, I’m still trying to drink my cup of coffee and have my 10 minutes of peace and when I do, it’s great, but now I’m afraid of the days where I don’t get that.

I don’t want to regret coffee but I also don’t want to need it.

Even the smell of decaf has the power to make me smile and feel warm. I love popping out of my shower and savoring a warm drink while feeling clean and sitting watching the trees outside my window. There’s nothing like pouring that first bit of milk into the cup and watching it color the brown like dissolving ribbon.


Yoga for Lent

Going to a Catholic college, it was made clear when it was Lent. When I relied on the food services, huge signs were posted on the every surface of the cafeteria reminding me it was Lent and do not eat this and that and if you must eat on Friday…here’s some salad.

It was nice though because it gave me time to prepare what I wanted to do for Lent and it was also part of normal conversation throughout the day so you could hear what other people were going to be giving up.

One of my friends gave up French fries.

What a hero.

Another went to church everyday.

I’ve had various stints with Lent whether it was to eat healthier or to be more outgoing. Once, during a time when I wasn’t going out much, I even made it a point to drink more because I kept turning down night time hangout sessions with friends.

This year, I think I need something more stress relieving.

Since I’m new in town and not many females to hang out with and work causing stress, I’ve been getting a lot of restless sleep and just being tired a lot of the time.

A lot of signs point to me being stressed.

For Lent, I think yoga will help me while also making it a point to reflect on some scripture while doing it. I realize I lack space and moments to really sit down and say, what I’m doing in my life is okay and it’s okay to make mistakes.

Even if I can’t get over the mistakes I made throughout the day, having a chance to calm down after might still be enough to put my mind at ease so I can at least sleep a little bit.

To motivate me I want to post photos of Instagram of me doing fun poses like a lot of my stylish friends do. Hey, everyone’s got their thing!

This will be good for me… during the day I also get so tensed up that at night my back and shoulders hurt.

Good news is this must be some sort of workout and my back muscles must be super nice and defined?