Coffee as a Crutch

I keep finding myself without time to have coffee in the morning and it consistently causes that day to be very bad.

To coincide with the idea that for Lent, I want to take time to do yoga and meditate, I started to make sure I had at least 10 minutes in the morning to simply sit down and enjoy my cup of coffee. For a while, it was working incredibly. Those 10 minutes let me gather myself and let me relax while also allowing me to get the caffeine boost in the morning that I needed.

Suddenly, my schedule didn’t allow for me to drink any coffee and I lost those 10 minutes of me time.

That was incredibly devastating.

That also makes me pretty embarrassed. I’m upset I let myself rely on something so much that it now has the power to determine how the next 12+ hours of my day is going to go, That’s an addiction and that’s not okay.

Don’t get me wrong though.

I think that wanting and getting me time is very important. Without that type of self care, people don’t do well. As I type that out, I don’t really know if I have a source for that which is funny… but at the end of the day, the person who knows what you need best is you. Life is meant to be enjoyed.

I love my job but I don’t think I could perform well at it if I didn’t get to have fun on my off time and if I didn’t get to destress every once in awhile.

So now it’s tricky… how can I continue to do things like drink coffee and take time to myself while still retaining a sense of flexibility that even without it, I am going to be okay.

Right now, I’m still trying to drink my cup of coffee and have my 10 minutes of peace and when I do, it’s great, but now I’m afraid of the days where I don’t get that.

I don’t want to regret coffee but I also don’t want to need it.

Even the smell of decaf has the power to make me smile and feel warm. I love popping out of my shower and savoring a warm drink while feeling clean and sitting watching the trees outside my window. There’s nothing like pouring that first bit of milk into the cup and watching it color the brown like dissolving ribbon.

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Yoga for Lent

Going to a Catholic college, it was made clear when it was Lent. When I relied on the food services, huge signs were posted on the every surface of the cafeteria reminding me it was Lent and do not eat this and that and if you must eat on Friday…here’s some salad.

It was nice though because it gave me time to prepare what I wanted to do for Lent and it was also part of normal conversation throughout the day so you could hear what other people were going to be giving up.

One of my friends gave up French fries.

What a hero.

Another went to church everyday.

I’ve had various stints with Lent whether it was to eat healthier or to be more outgoing. Once, during a time when I wasn’t going out much, I even made it a point to drink more because I kept turning down night time hangout sessions with friends.

This year, I think I need something more stress relieving.

Since I’m new in town and not many females to hang out with and work causing stress, I’ve been getting a lot of restless sleep and just being tired a lot of the time.

A lot of signs point to me being stressed.

For Lent, I think yoga will help me while also making it a point to reflect on some scripture while doing it. I realize I lack space and moments to really sit down and say, what I’m doing in my life is okay and it’s okay to make mistakes.

Even if I can’t get over the mistakes I made throughout the day, having a chance to calm down after might still be enough to put my mind at ease so I can at least sleep a little bit.

To motivate me I want to post photos of Instagram of me doing fun poses like a lot of my stylish friends do. Hey, everyone’s got their thing!

This will be good for me… during the day I also get so tensed up that at night my back and shoulders hurt.

Good news is this must be some sort of workout and my back muscles must be super nice and defined?

The Other Lent Post

I’ll let you in on a secret, I stole the topic idea for this post from Anne. It seems like I’m writing about Lent first, but really she did, so I won’t take that credit. However, Lent starts today, so I’m writing about it today.

Growing up, my family went to Catholic Church, so Lent is familiar to me. But recently, I’ve been a part of a non-denominational Christian community, one that doesn’t really follow all of the stricter, traditional practices that Catholics go through every year. So Lent has been a little lax as of late.

Going from being Catholic to Non-Denominational is like being a kid away from home for college for the first time. You have to wonder what rules to follow and you get to really address why. Now, to clarify, part of the reason I’m Non-Denominational is that I never really felt all the “traditions” at the Catholic Church seemed right to me. Not right as in correct, but right as in they didn’t fit me and my faith. It’s a complicated concept, but here I am.

But I think Lent is actually one of the practices that the Catholic Church follows that I liked. The idea of sacrificing something for 40 days, just like Jesus had gone without for 40 days while tested after he was baptized, always makes me feel closer to God. It makes the celebration of Easter a bit more special too, which is something that I think needs to be revived in my life.

I had been thinking for a while that I should bring the practice of Lent back into my life, but wasn’t sure what to give up (or pick up) for the 40 days. I did some searching online for ideas, and found one that I really liked that I thought would be challenging for me.

I found buried in a list of other great ideas, one person said that for Lent, they wanted to really focus on treating their body as a temple. This is such a great concept in my mind, because it goes way beyond just wanting to give up sweets or soda (though those are also great!) I liked the concept so much, I’ve decided to pick it up as my 40 day “challenge” if you will.

So what does this mean for me? Well, I’ll be making sure to treat my body much better than I have recently. I’ll be fueling it with healthy food, hydrating it well, taking care of my hair and skin, building up my strength through exercise, staying away from toxic people, avoiding toxic thoughts, keeping up my appearance and doing my best to stay bright. Hopefully by the end of the 40 days, all of this will be habit and my temple will stay strong all year long!

Anne is Back

Why the hiatus?

Life got hard. Or at least, I think it did. It’s difficult claiming that when sometimes I feel like I just really need a swift kick to the butt.

It’s still January and I couldn’t hold this down. But, while I was in band with Liz I did learn that repetition makes practice and practice makes perfect. My handy theology major taught me that 40 days of consistently doing something makes something a habit and once something is a habit, it’s a lot easier to do. This is the idea behind things like Lent anyway.

So, I think I will write everyday even if that just means scheduling posts so I don’t interfere with Liz’s day.

Do you see what I just did? I told you the problem and came up with the solution.

Life did get hard though. I’m sure if my boss was reading this he would laugh out loud though and call me a baby…

I guess I’m really not used to working so much. In college I probably worked as many hours if not more, but I got to spread it out. I purposefully would schedule myself a two hour lunch to hang out with friends and nap. Some days I would even just schedule night classes so when my friends were studying I could knock out a 3 hour class and in the day time just go to the gym.

Now, that flexibility isn’t as true. The Army is interesting in the fact that I don’t get paid hourly. I get paid monthly so it doesn’t matter how many hours I work, I just need to get my taskings done. Sometimes, I could honestly get done by noon and other times I need to work ’til 10 at night. Because I’m still new and figuring out this Army thing, oftentimes these last few months, I found myself in the office until 9 at night… not horrible but way past the time my favorite burrito shop closed.

It’s also hard because being in the Army is about people and honestly, most of my soldiers don’t have to be with me that late to complete stuff. My stuff a lot of the times is admin paperwork so I need to utilize my daylight hours with them in the field and then once they go home I can type up the 30 memos I need.

My days where I get to be with my soldiers are my favorite. It does get hard to remember that though when I’m reading something called a ‘technical manual’ trying to figure out how to write a memo and what exactly I should be doing.

I learned that the hard way. Part of my job is being the arm’s room officer. NCOs and officers get additional duties on top of their normal duties to make the unit effective. Arm’s Room Officer means I have to keep the room where we store weapons secure and in compliance with state and federal law. That means any vents leading into that room needs to have security bars over it and the keys need to be inventoried and secure and the people that have access to the key to the key box don’t also have access to the arms room.

Crazy stuff that makes sense but you didn’t realize had to be in effect, or at least I didn’t.

So here we are, an Anne that wants to figure out life but an Anne that needs to manage her time better.

You know you love me,

xoxo Gossip GI Girl