I keep finding myself without time to have coffee in the morning and it consistently causes that day to be very bad.
To coincide with the idea that for Lent, I want to take time to do yoga and meditate, I started to make sure I had at least 10 minutes in the morning to simply sit down and enjoy my cup of coffee. For a while, it was working incredibly. Those 10 minutes let me gather myself and let me relax while also allowing me to get the caffeine boost in the morning that I needed.
Suddenly, my schedule didn’t allow for me to drink any coffee and I lost those 10 minutes of me time.
That was incredibly devastating.
That also makes me pretty embarrassed. I’m upset I let myself rely on something so much that it now has the power to determine how the next 12+ hours of my day is going to go, That’s an addiction and that’s not okay.
Don’t get me wrong though.
I think that wanting and getting me time is very important. Without that type of self care, people don’t do well. As I type that out, I don’t really know if I have a source for that which is funny… but at the end of the day, the person who knows what you need best is you. Life is meant to be enjoyed.
I love my job but I don’t think I could perform well at it if I didn’t get to have fun on my off time and if I didn’t get to destress every once in awhile.
So now it’s tricky… how can I continue to do things like drink coffee and take time to myself while still retaining a sense of flexibility that even without it, I am going to be okay.
Right now, I’m still trying to drink my cup of coffee and have my 10 minutes of peace and when I do, it’s great, but now I’m afraid of the days where I don’t get that.
I don’t want to regret coffee but I also don’t want to need it.
Even the smell of decaf has the power to make me smile and feel warm. I love popping out of my shower and savoring a warm drink while feeling clean and sitting watching the trees outside my window. There’s nothing like pouring that first bit of milk into the cup and watching it color the brown like dissolving ribbon.